


212 - Homesick for Van While He's on Tour

by storiesaboutvan



Category: Catfish and the Bottlemen (Band)
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 18:10:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17391191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesaboutvan/pseuds/storiesaboutvan
Summary: Filling the prompts “a fic where you’re van’s girlfriend and you surprise him on tour at one of the shows and he doesn’t know youre there until after when he goes outside to meet fans and he sees you?” and “Reader getting really down and homesick and shit while Vans on tour but not wanting to tell him and be a burden bc she knows he’s having a good time. One night on the phone to him she breaks down and he surprises her with tickets in the mail to go see him bc it breaks his heart. Long cuddles when they finally see each other- fluff fluff fluff!”Bonus mini-request for inside jokes about specific lyrics/bands; I’m going with The Killers.





	212 - Homesick for Van While He's on Tour

Van sighed over the phone. He missed you and you missed him, but you were both far more okay than you thought you'd be.

"Can't you just come visit? Even for a couple'a days?" he asked.

"No. Gotta save the visits for when we really miss each other,"

"I do really miss you!" You could hear it in his voice that he was offended that you thought otherwise.

"Nah. This is like, a four out of ten. Have to save it for ten. Eight minimum," you replied.

"I could come visit?"

"You'd have to cancel a show to do that, soooooo obviously no."

He paused, and you knew a lyric was coming. "If I changed my way of living and if I paved my streets with the good times, will the mountain keep on giving?"

You laughed. "That was a good one! But, exactly. Can't change it, 'cause it won't. You're fine. I'm fine. You just miss sex." Then, it was Van's turn to laugh, and he made a moaning sound of agreement.

The phone call ended soon after, when more of Flowers' lyrics were used in sentences, an inside joke you and Van had since the beginning, and more declarations of love were made. Yeah, you missed him, but you'd survive. The boy didn't keep you alive, after all.

…

"There is a place, here in this house, that you can stay…" Van said and you could hear the grin in his voice.

"I don't know that one?"

"Deadlines and Commitments. 2012," Van replied quickly.

"Right,"

"But seriously. There is room here. It's not a house, it's a hotel, but you know what I mean. Please, babe?" he begged again. You laughed at him.

…

You could hear the others in the background. Someone was yelling at Van to get off the phone.

"Wouldn't need to be on the phone if someone just came and visited!" he yelled back at them in a statement that was really directed at you.

"I think you should just get Snapchat," you told him.

"No," he said in a childish tone.

"Don't want your picture on my cell phone. Want you here with me?" you asked him. He couldn't help but chuckle.

"Dead apt, that one."

…

The daily phone calls and weekly Skype video sessions would have probably been enough to sustain you while Van was gone. Probably, if everything else in your life had continued to run smoothly. But, it didn't. A picture of you as a teenager found its way online; a thing you very much did not want to happen. You had taken the photo for a boy, and the heartache and hurt of him sharing it around the school was all brought back up again.

The website did little about removing the image, and you had to beg a friend to ask a friend to ask someone else to ask the poster to take it down. It took days, and as each of those days passed, your want for Van kept growing and growing. All the things he did for you were exactly what you needed. Van provided safety from the rest of the world. He provided reassurance that you were perfect and beautiful, and fuck anyone who said otherwise.

At first, you didn't tell him what had happened. By the end of the week, he knew something was up.

"Babe? Thought you said you were okay without me? Why you all sulky?"

"I'm not… Just tired," you tried to lie.

Van saw straight through it, and you broke down and told him. Like he always did, he aimed to break the mood with a small smile. A joke; a lyric.

"If they drag you through the mud, it doesn't change what's in your blood," he recited Be Still. You nodded and wiped your tears on the sleeve of Van's hoodie that you were wearing.

"Yeah," you replied in a small voice.

"Babe? Just come here."

But, still you wouldn't.

…

"If you can't hold on… hold on," you said out loud over the phone. You were talking to Van, but really it was a reminder to yourself.

"The game ain't fun like this," he replied.

"Like what?"

"When you're sad. Meant to be funny inside jokes, not like… sad,"

"Sorry,"

"No, babe, that's not what I meant… Just… I'm going get you tickets, okay? Like, them ones that don't have a date, so you can just use them whenever. I need you here and you need to be here. As soon as you're ready to admit that, come, okay?" he pleaded.

"I'm okay," you lied.

That night, you curled up in bed and stared at the laptop screen. The undated plane tickets sat in your email inbox, a visual representation of how unhappy you were. Maybe if you stayed you'd be okay in a couple of days, or a couple of weeks. Everyone would know you were strong and brave. But, fuck what people thought, like Van said. Your body ached for him, and you just wanted him to hold you and tell in person that everything was fine. Even after making the decision, you couldn't sleep. You stayed up till sunrise packing a bag and booking the next flight out of there.

…

You stood against a brick wall watching Catfish fans stand around and wait for the guys. It was a little past midnight and everyone was shivering in the cold. It would be a surprise, your arrival, but you had called Van earlier and asked if he'd planned on meeting fans.

From the shadows, you waiting until he'd talked to most of the groups before stepping out. Under the streetlight, you were glowing. Van glanced over at the movement, then recognised your familiar face against the unfamiliar setting. He froze. The girl he was talking to turned to see what he was looking at. You could hear her voice.

"Is that your girlfriend?"

Van nodded. The girl pulled her CD booklet from his hand; it was signed. He still didn't move. Slowly, gently, the girl pushed Van's shoulder, forcing him into action. He strode over and bundled you up in his long arms. You were lifted off the ground, and you wrapped your legs around his waist.

"Babe," he mumbled into your hair.

"You were right. I need you,"

"Didn't want to be right. I'm sorry. I need you too. So. Fucking. Much." You shrugged. When your feet were firmly on the ground and the eyes of everyone in the alley were on you, Van kissed you hard. Then he whispered, "Don't know a lyric for this,"

"I thought about it on the plane. Get this weight off my shoulders; I've carried it well."

…

From the venue to the hotel, Van wouldn't let you out of arm's reach. Just seeing him and the guys was enough to settle you entirely, remind you that there were people that unconditionally loved you and that would always be enough. Van though, he had really, really missed you. Having you back somehow made those emotions more intense. His fingers twisted between yours and it almost hurt. His hugs and holds were a little suffocating.

In the white subway tiled shower, the smell of your plane trip and the sweat of Van's show were washed away. Bodies clean, you clung to each other, afraid that separation would somehow be permanent.

When your frame started to ache from holding up Van, you mumbled his name into the crook of his neck. He didn't move. You tried an instruction to get into bed; still, nothing. It was only when Larry banged on the door that Van moved.

"I know that ya havin' a moment, but can it happen elsewhere? Really fuckin' need to piss," he called. You grinned at Van.

You quickly changed into track pants and one of Van's t-shirts and crawled into his hotel bed. He moved more slowly but managed to be half dressed when Larry emerged from the bathroom. He'd showered too.

"Gonna go bunk with one of the others," he said casually, picking up his bag.

"Oh! No, don't. It's okay. We won't-" you went to say. You hated feeling like you'd disrupted routine. Larry waved you off.

"All good, Y/N."

You watched him leave the room, then turned to Van. He was on the other side of the bed, getting under the covers. Cuddled up together, you chewed your lip.

"What?" Van said.

"What?"

"You do that when you're nervous," he replied, running his thumb along your lip, pulling it out your mouth.

"Um… I just… I want to know something but I don't know if I really want to know?" you told him. Van thought for a moment, nodding a little. He kissed you gently, pulled you closer, and sighed.

"Just say it,"

"So… 'bout the photo… Did… Did you see it?"

"I would 'ave had to go searchin' for it," he replied quickly.

"Yeah,"

"Yeah, so no. Why would I? Respect you more than that, Y/N. 'Sides, got the real thing here. Don't want to see you in any way but the way you want me to… you know what I mean?"

You nodded, completely and utterly put back together by the words. Van could do that. In so few syllables that were just the truth to him, nothing fancy, nothing prolific, he could make people feel. It was an innate skill he was only just learning to harness.

Spooned together, you stretched your arms out and watched Van's fingers move up and down your skin, aiming for goosebumps. He moved your hair out of the way so he could kiss the back of your neck. Van's movements were slow and without the environmental cues of outside light or a clock, time stopped entirely. The only indicator that minutes were going by at all was the growing warmth in your body. It had started outside, on your skin, then seeped its way inside until your tummy was hot and your heart was beating too fast, trying to cool your body with fresh blood. Van's voice snapped you out of your trance.

"It's good to have you with us, even it's just for the day. Outside the sun is shining, seems like heaven ain't far away," he whispered. He was right; the sun was starting to shine through the heavy hotel curtains. Had it been that late when you got to the hotel? Were minutes or hours wasted between shower and bed? How long had you been awake and dreaming next to each other?

You slowly turned around to face him. With his nose rubbing against yours, while you tried to count the colours in each other's eyes, you slowly started to fall asleep.


End file.
